Campbell Brown, the anchor of CNN’s No Bias, No Bull, just can’t seem to sit up straight. I end up watching a ton of her show on mute at the gym. You know, you get on the treadmills ellipticals and always forget your headphones so you’re stuck watching a ton of TV at basically the same time of day without actually hearing anything. (I’ve watched a lot of MythBusters, The Hills, and Survivor.)
Anyway, since I can’t hear Ms. Brown talk, I do a lot of visual deconstruction of her show (CNN recently changed their graphics!), and I’ve started to notice that she is perpetually on a lean. It’s like there’s a permanent crick in her neck.
I tell you what probably really happened: She wanted to look “down to earth” and “casual” to her No Bias, No Bull viewers and adopted a semi-slouch look. Instead, I always find myself leaning my head so I’m somewhat crooked in order to make her look straight. Check it out:
CNN's Campbell Brown seems to always be on a tilt
See what I’m talking about? Don’t worry; I have more proof, complete with technical drawings:
Exhibit 1
Exhibit 2
Exhibit 3
Exhibit 4
Anyway, I love you, Campbell, but I’m glad your tilt hasn’t caused me to tumble off the treadmill yet, but I’ll be damned if it does. Campbell Brown, 1; Me, 0.
Before we get started, if you haven’t already seen the FinallyFast.com commercial, you’re going to need to check it out for the sake of this post:
I don’t know if you’ve seen it or not; I’m not too sure of where it’s played or if it’s just a regional thing. However, there are a number of reasons this commercial is awesome:
The browser URL at 0:17 seconds reads: “http://www.email.com/email.htm/”, a veritably impossible address
The impossibly generic instant messaging program at 0:14
The fact that the program doesn’t work for Macs (0:28), but all the computers in the shots are Macs (example at 0:07)
But the best part of the whole thing occurs before you realize the commercial’s barely been going on. Go back and watch the video and see if you see anything funny in the first 15 seconds. Try right at 0:12 seconds. Check it out in high quality. Still can’t see it? Don’t worry; we DVRed it at home and then took a screen shot for you (click on it for full-size):
A FinallyFast.com commercial screenshot
They’ve written out common fairy tales there in each paragraph (Little Red Riding Hood, Alice in Wonderland, and the Hunchback of Notre Dame), but the best part comes at the end of the Alice in Wonderland story in the second paragraph. Here is the text, verbatim:
They stood at the tail gate—Alice approached the men. “Hello,” said Alice. “Sorry kid,” said the taller man, “you can’t leave Wonderland. This area is quarantined with Sars.“
And why not? If I’m going to Wonderland, I’m sure as heck not leaving to the real world to get Sars!
