Reasons why, according to Ice Cube, that I should be having a good day

If Ice Cube were a motivational speaker (motivational rapper?), he would already have a good foundation to go on. Circa 1990, he already gave us a number of reasons to have a good day:

Ice Cube – It Was A Good Day

[audio:itwasagoodday.mp3]

1. He woke up that morning
2. The dogs that typically bark in the morning were not
3. There was no smog, despite the fact that it’s Los Angeles
4. His mother cooked his breakfast before he was awake, and it didn’t have any type of pork product
5. While eating, he received a call from a girl he’s been into lately and set up a date
6. He’s got a convertible automobile that, when activated, can utilize a hydrolic system to make the back end of the car physically drop
7. At a red light, he couldn’t see any police cars
8. He was just beeped—an antiquated, primitive version of texting—from Kim who is capable of having sex for multiple hours
9. He found out that his friends were playing basketball
10. When he began playing with them, he was having a repeat performance of last week’s triple double
11. He went back home from the game to take a shower, and on the way, no way chastized him, despite the fact that last week they heckled him
12. As he ran a red light, he saw the police who weren’t looking at him allowing him to get away with the minor law-breaking
13. After showering, he went to Short Dog’s house to watch Yo! MTV Raps and to gamble on craps
14. He continued to do very well at the game, rollling 7s and 11s, before winning the pot and moving on to dominoes, which he also won
15. No one that he knew was murdered in his neighborhood
16. He finally got to pick up Kim, which is a great thing, because he’s been trying to have intercourse with her ever since he was a senior in high school
17. Serendipitously, she had alcohol and he had marijuana so they weren’t stuck with too much of one and not enough of the other
18. The home team Los Angeles Lakers beat the powerhouse Seattle SuperSonics
19. He was able to have sexual intercourse
20. When he had to leave, he had to wake her up to take her home, and she referred to him as the “Top Gun”
21. Although he was drinking and driving, he was able to utilize his hydrolic system again to drive on only three of the four wheels of his car, a way of showing off in your car
22. As he was thinking about how good the day was—similar to a dream—he also realized he hadn’t seen any policemen
23. There was no helicopter in the air, allowing him to feel a little relief there were no murders late at night
24. At 2 a.m., he was still able to purchase and consume an above-average sized hamburger
25. It was a clear night (no smog, remember!) so he was able to see the Goodyear Blimp—and despite the owner not knowing him—they still had it scrolling: “Ice Cube’s a pimp”
26. He was severely intoxicated, but wasn’t regurgitating
27. Even though it’s late at night and he’s almost home, he is still being beeped by multiple people, hoping he’ll continute to stay out that evening
28. He didn’t have to use Kalashnikov’s automatic rifle model of 1947 in a gunfight

Count your blessings! I’ve got to say it was a good day.