Don’t mess with Texans

I try real hard not to curse in my blog posts, but I don’t know whose jackass idea it was to create this piece of crap:

I know it’s hard to tell, but that’s the Houston Texans secondary logo. That stupid thing is creeping all throughout the organization like a cancer. They started giving it out over the summer to season ticket holders on t-shirts. And now it’s made it all the way to the banner of the Houston Texans home page. This is abysmal.

First of all, my biggest complaint is the ridiculous way Texas is shaped. It’s like a some got the creative idea to make the gulf coast curve to line up with the curve of the top right of the ‘T’. Oooohhh that would be so creative. You know what it really is? Dumb. Texas is TEXAS and you don’t mess with it. The state is the state and you don’t not cartoonerize it (that’s right—cartoonerize) to make it look like Under Armour is branding our team. It looks like a third grade teacher asked their kids to draw the state from memory with a crayon.

Secondly, the Mexican border looks exactly like that: Like the state of Texas ate a ton of Mexican food and got bloated and had to lie down. Poor El Paso is losing real estate like whoa over there in West Texas.

I don’t know whose bright idea it was to go ahead and start marketing this secondary logo to everyone, but I BEG YOU TO STOP. It’s horrid. The sad thing is that the main logo is AWESOME:

If the team EVER decides that secondary logo needs to be on the uniform, I’m writing a handwritten letter.

P.S.—And this is the greatest P.S. I’ll ever get to write, literally as I was writing this post, I heard the greatest news I’ve ever heard and literally laughed for over a minute. I’ve always always always loved Chad Johnson, but this takes the cake: He has already started taking steps to legally changing his last name to Ocho Cinco so he can wear his Ocho Cinco jersey without getting fined by the NFL. God bless Chad Johnson.