Looks like I’m gonna have to ride this one out

As if America needs one more thing to prove your child is going to be arrested, my beloved has taken a hit:

In March, The Journal of American College Health published a report on the link between energy drinks, athletics and risky behavior. The study … suggests that high consumption of energy drinks is associated with ‘toxic jock’ behavior, a constellation of risky and aggressive behaviors including unprotected sex, substance abuse and violence.

Ah yes, the ol’ “constellation” of risky and aggressive behaviors. Unprotected sex. Abuse! INAPPROPRIATE ACTIVITY! AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIORS VIOLENCE SHOOTING MARILYN MANSON! OMG I’M ABOUT TO OVERLOAD ON TEEN BEHAVIOR COLLOQUIALISMS!!

Alright, Journal of American College Health, you win. I drink a Red Bull, next thing I know I’m impregnating hookers while on a crack binge before crashing my car into an abortion clinic. I suppose I’ll lay off them for awhile.

On the Internet: Taste for Quick Boost Tied to Taste for Risk