Before we get started, if you haven’t already seen the FinallyFast.com commercial, you’re going to need to check it out for the sake of this post:

I don’t know if you’ve seen it or not; I’m not too sure of where it’s played or if it’s just a regional thing. However, there are a number of reasons this commercial is awesome:

• The browser URL at 0:17 seconds reads: “http://www.email.com/email.htm/”, a veritably impossible address
• The impossibly generic instant messaging program at 0:14
• The fact that the program doesn’t work for Macs (0:28), but all the computers in the shots are Macs (example at 0:07)

But the best part of the whole thing occurs before you realize the commercial’s barely been going on. Go back and watch the video and see if you see anything funny in the first 15 seconds. Try right at 0:12 seconds. Check it out in high quality. Still can’t see it? Don’t worry; we DVRed it at home and then took a screen shot for you (click on it for full-size):

A FinallyFast.com commercial screenshot

They’ve written out common fairy tales there in each paragraph (Little Red Riding Hood, Alice in Wonderland, and the Hunchback of Notre Dame), but the best part comes at the end of the Alice in Wonderland story in the second paragraph. Here is the text, verbatim:

They stood at the tail gate—Alice approached the men. “Hello,” said Alice. “Sorry kid,” said the taller man, “you can’t leave Wonderland. This area is quarantined with Sars.“

And why not? If I’m going to Wonderland, I’m sure as heck not leaving to the real world to get Sars!

This post has something to do with: Ridiculous & Television

I have to give credit to my roommate Zane for the idea for this one. He IMed me at work and just went off on any number of songs and pretty soon we decided it was great Top 5 material. It was an incredibly long list so we had obviously had to pare it down to five. (Sorry Kylie Minogue’s Can’t Get You Out of My Head.)

A note about the rules: These are chosen based solely on usage of gibberish alone. Therefore, songs where the gibberish is mixed with actual English words are thrown out, e.g. The Police’s De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da.

1. Crash Test Dummies—Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

   By naming this song they effectively made every Top 40 DJ’s life a nightmare. I remember hearing it for the first time, enjoying the melody like every good mid-’90s kid would, and wondering what the name of it was so I could go (*shudder*) buy a CD. I wouldn’t have believed it except for the fact that the song was about a girl who wouldn’t change in the girls’ dressing room because she had birthmarks “all over her body.”

   Crash Test Dummies—Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm

2. Hanson—MmmBop

   I suppose the “mmm” sound is made enough to warrant two incredibly addicting melodies. Don’t knock Hanson. To me they’re kinda like the band you had to hate but secretly listened to when the song came on in the car and ten years later it’s cool similar to Paula Abdul’s “Straight Up”.

   Hanson—MmmBop

3. Third Eye Blind—Semi-Charmed Life

   This may be the biggest stretch on the list, but I’ll be damned if I’m not walking around singing “doot doot doot” every time I hear this song.

   Third Eye Blind—Semi-Charmed Life

4. The Marcels—Blue Moon

   This one was almost too easy. I can’t even remember the first time I heard this song (although I’m going to venture to say it was when I was in the car with my mom when I was young and the only thing she let us listen to was either Christian music or oldies. Which in my opinion is kind of funny because some of those oldies songs had some inappropriate material in it) but, just like every one of you, I tried to sing it back and screwed it up majorly.

   The Marcels—Blue Moon

5. Tokens—The Lion Sleeps Tonight

   I don’t know who wrote it, and I don’t particularly care. All I know is that this song, while atop this list, also tops the “Easiest to Get in Your Head” list.

   Tokens—The Lion Sleeps Tonight

What are YOUR favorites?

This post has something to do with: Music & Top 5

I know I’ve been a little absent lately, and for that, I apologize. However, I wanted to just drop a quick note saying I’ve been working on a re-design and that’s been the reason for the hiatus. However, that being said, I’m going to drop some other things that’ve been on my mind:

• Texas idle, Tech loses, Oklahoma, despite losing to Texas, jumps in AP poll. Still, Texas remains #1 in Sagarin ratings.
• Found out from my roommate that if you burn a Taco Bell straw, it burns differently than a regular straw. It’ll catch fire, burn down and basically implode on itself. Try it. In a safe place, of course.
• Watched an episode of SNL with my brother and roommate. It was the one with Beyonce and Paul Rudd. Just so happened to have one of the most hilarious skits I’ve seen in a long time, the one where Justin Timberlake, Andy Samberg, and Bobby Moynihan dress up as Beyonce’s back-up dancers. We watched her live performance too. (Here’s the original video.) But my puppy Bentley was so inspired that he wrote his own version and made a music video out of it.

This post has something to do with: David's Personal Life & Football & Music

It’s always been a dream of mine to grow a full-on mustache. However, these days, if you’re a mid-’20s young adult and you start to grow one you’re all of a sudden a pedophile.

It only makes sense that I start to grow one for the kids.

Mustache for Kids is a national organization in which participants grow a mustache for one month while raising money for charity. You look like a fool for one month while people give money in your name to charity… to look like a fool. And all the while I have an excuse to grow a mustache. There are even rules!

Support me!

I’m begging you all: Please donate! It’s fairly simple: visit my donor page (every Mustache for Kids grower across the nation sets one up), and scroll down until you see the charity I’ve chosen to support. Put in an amount (ANY amount helps!!) and hit Give. That’s it!

Seriously, even $1 is a step closer to the goal!

You’ll be happy to know I never see any of the money. I don’t want to see it. I want you all to know that every amount you give goes directly to the kids. That’s that! And every donation is tax deductible.

The Links

• The Official Mustache for Kids Organization
• The Houston Chapter of Mustache for Kids
• The David Stagg Giving Page

Keep reading Mustaches for Kids: I grow the ’stache for charity

This post has something to do with: David's Personal Life & Ridiculous